Time will heal. It will tell. It will fix it. Time is generous like that.
A friend posted on his status recently, “why do people often disappear?” I held my phone, staring into space. I thought the status was a direct question at me. So I gave a response so direct. A response, my friend knew I was being direct and personal. I felt tested and tried. I don’t know.
I read my response and I wanted to talk more on it. I had more to say, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I just stared at my phone screen and let my thoughts play its game. How would I do this to myself? Would I figure this out? No idea.
I believe people disappear for different reasons. Some disappear because they are disappointed. Others because they are tired and bent. Some disappear because they are misunderstood. Pathetic I must say.
She disappeared because she felt alone in “this”. She needed to breathe because she was choking. You cannot fathom what he is going through, so he’d rather run. I disappeared because I was scared. I had it up to here, and I could not take it anymore. Tears at 4:04 am everyday. Is that life? Thinking and earning no results. That is exhausting.
When people decide to take a break, do not think it is because of you, especially if they do not tell you and just go ghost. {Many times, you can tell it is you though}. Regardless, people have different ways of accessing situations, and different ways of dealing with it. You may have had a conversation with them about it before, and when it happens again, they ghost.
They might be going through their own trying moments. I could be going through premium “shege”. They might need space. It could be emotional stress. A lot could be going on, and you wouldn’t know. They might not be able to explain it.
And that begins to eat up everything you both could have. They come back, thinking they have fixed it, but they ghost again. Then you start to doubt. And you begin you keep your guard up.
It gets tiring. Exhausting as a matter of fact. The “ghostee” is beginning to get agitated. There are some disappearance that are justifiable. You just know why that person has disappeared. I am talking to those who don’t know. I also am not justifying their disappearance.
This is where communication comes in. I am very bad at this, I know. But I am doing better. Talk. Ask questions. Put pressure. Get to the root. Talk about it. Let them know your nature, your way of life. Make them understand. From the moment you let them into your space, you owe them that.
Provide clarity. Whether it is a platonic relationship or a romantic one. Please talk. Lack of adequate communication is killing a lot of good things. Just let them know. If you cannot go deep, at least the bone of contention.
They deserve that. For those that claim to be busy every time, we are coming back to you people. 🙂 Tomorrow is another day. We let you off the hook today. 🫂
On that note, I would leave you today. I hope you stay conscious and intentional. I hope this works. Thank you for always coming back to read. See you soon! 🎈
FROM MY DESK – MORENIKEJI A. ODEBIYI
Shade Odebiyi's Creatives. 
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