If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
As I sit to write to you, I think of how all these could have gone the other way. What if I stood up for myself? What if I went to that event? What if I met the man of my dreams? What if I got the job? What if I ended everything and lived by myself? What if I created my own rules?
The year ran by so fast and there’s me at the end of it all, looking just at the beginning, just like it was yesterday. What a year it has been.
2023, was the year they defined the phrase “love yourself”. It was the year, you had to be uncomfortable to survive. It was the year you had to get work up, to get noticed. It was the year you had to be alone to see things. It was the year you had to talk less and see more. It was a year of taking a step back to visually analyze every pattern there is to life at our age.
This year, I did not love, but I lived. I was exposed to a different environment that gave me the privilege to access different patterns of work, life, personal relationships, and boundaries. I met a few people this year that I do not want to associate with anymore. I let go of friendships and relationships that were not helping anymore.
Finding yourself and realizing your journey is a very important aspect of life and figuring that out this year was the greatest gift I got. As I navigated my way this year, I solely made decisions that could make me be me effortlessly. What if I am tired of being a better person?
I also got to understand the phrase “September 7 does not determine September 8. It simply means, that what happens today, does not mean it will happen tomorrow.
CAREER –
Oh, what a time to be alive! I effortlessly carried 2023 by realizing what it was that I wanted. I met a lot more people with alike minds and these people made my life and view my career beautiful.
Thankful to a few people who have guided me on this journey toward perfection and clarity. I have made these decisions and they are coming to light in the new year. It is about to be a beautiful year of various accomplishments.
I accomplished a lot this year, and we are going harder next year. This is just the beginning. Let’s check into next year.
LOVE –
I am very happy to announce to you people again, that I am also ending this year as a single woman.
But, there is clarity. There is direction. There is discernment and decisiveness. I did not put in effort into this cause this year. I wanted to grieve enough and understand what this was all about. I wanted to understand my love and how to channel it right. And I did. So you never know, next year might just be that year.
With friendships, it could hurt a lot more, but it is okay. We outgrow ourselves and it is okay. Sometimes our beliefs and thoughts do not align anymore and we have to let go. Friendship breakups hurt a lot and sometimes you feel like you cannot breathe anymore. But it is okay.
I did not have the best year with friendships either. Although I made a few new friends this year. I understood what it meant to be there for people and that’s with me forever. But from the ones I continued, it was worth it. I am grateful to the ones I am still holding on to. I do hope to build stronger ones in the new year.
MYSELF –
2023 was for finally taking the last straw. Knowing what I can tolerate, and what I cannot. I came to terms with myself, understanding and agreement. I then learned to love myself and put myself first. The truth is, nobody cares. So it is either you’re doing you, or you are doing nothing.
This year was different, I was able to do more for myself, and as minute as it may sound, I was able to detty my December. I was able to do the minute things I have always wanted to do. I explored myself more and did things that normally I could not have done in past years. I did my nails the way I wanted, and my hair the way I liked it to be. I was comfortable with myself.
I was able to be vocal about what I wanted to do to whoever cared to listen. I could dream about my wins and goals for as long as I could. I conquered a few fears this year and I got closer to God. I had my wings out and flew, studying and understanding. I was busy discerning my moves and understanding myself. I was out here putting me first.
And with that, the 2023 year comes to an end. This is my last note for you this year. You made it. You did it. I am proud of you. You should be proud of yourself. Regardless of how your year went, you are here reading this, and that in itself is a big deal.
2024 is another year to do better and be you. Figure yourself out. Find you. Define what you want. In the end, you have only you. Nobody else matters. Like box-head would say “I bless the day that you find you.”
See you in the new year. Love you, always and forever.
FROM MY DESK – MORENIKEJI A. ODEBIYI
Shade Odebiyi's Creatives. 
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