There are days when I am at my lowest. There are moments when I feel most grateful and joyful. There are times and moments, I miss the most. I look back a lot of times and feel like my best moments have passed me by, but I am grateful simply because, there is more moving forward.
The fact that many people have individual struggles that cannot be denied, there are still some things that when explained in person, can have you crashing down or deep in thought. These are the things that define you.
Somedays, I miss you. Sometimes, I smell your scent from nowhere. Other times, I make our favorite meal and I remember you. On a few occasions, I break down in tears when I remember how much I miss you. I wanted to show you how much we said we would accomplish together. I wanted to scream from the mountains how much I loved you. But it all fell down.
The worst kinds of emotions hurt most from people you care so much about; it could be family, friends or lovers. The slightest could trip you. Words then, have a lot of weight, feelings are very important and you feel the most vulnerable. Those times are the times you need a lot more comfort. But, it does not come.
A lot of times, it seems like I am always sad, but dear reader, is there anything fun? I mean, it could only get better. But many times, when I write, I love to express myself, and thanks to my emotions, I can express that clearly. When I started my career journey earlier this year, there were times I got tired. A lot of times, I sensed frustration. Many days I felt unseen, and unheard. I felt like a loner with no support.
Looking back now, those were golden moments in time. They are like periods inscribed on a stone or engraved in an artifact that cannot be erased. At this very moment, those times feel very important and very necessary for my growth journey. There is more to come.
A month ago, while I interned at Cowrywise, I got a book from a senior colleague titled “WHAT A TIME TO BE ALONE by CHIDERA EGGERUE.” I was curious about that book and I wanted to read it so much. I mean it has a delightful cover. After reading that book, my perspective about a lot of things changed. A few of my senior colleagues had also read the book and concluded it was a toxic one. But I begged to differ.
I loved the book and felt intrigued and enlightened about many things. It was the first time I read something like that, and the thought of challenging a larger amount of people felt great. That was a golden moment. It felt like a golden opportunity.
As I stood under the shower today, whilst letting the water run through my already relaxed hair, I thought about how much of a golden moment I was yet to encounter. I thought about how interesting it would be, whether it was good or bad. To be honest, I find solace in my tears or bad moods, helps me reflect on a lot even when I am breaking.
It is like moving through the bright stars and stunning clouds as seen in the “ENTERGALACTIC MOVIE.” Those times are very subtle that you do not realize until its passed. It is like tasting ice cream for the first time, but with the feeling of the ice hitting your teeth. Those are golden moments. These times are when you are you, effortlessly.
Maybe I call you and tell you I am at the movies “can you meet me at 5?” Or I see your message pop up on my screen, this time, I do not feel the urge to respond, but finally, have the strength and emotion to ignore the disrespect. I consider that a golden moment. Regardless of my running away from what could possibly make me, I think peace of mind is beguiling.
I want to create more golden moments and I started that already. I want to live intentionally maybe without emotions, I am currently trying that. If that does not work out, I can swing by with feelings and emotions again.
I am going back to school my dear readers and it’s exam time people. With respect to that, my articles might not be as frequent as they used to be. I want to give a name to my readers, what do you think we should call ourselves? Thank you for always coming back to read my articles.
Your comments and thoughts are very important and welcomed. I love you all. 🤍
With love,
‘ShadeOdebiyi ✍🏾🪄
PS: School is not a golden moment for me. Soft life is.
From My Desk: MORENIKEJI A. ODEBIYI
Shade Odebiyi's Creatives. 
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